This site shall be used to do just that, I will make serious, deep posts that will make your lives better if you heed my words. I shall also lighten your days with a post here and there drenched with my unique humor so that you may laugh heartily and be at ease. I leave it to you to discern which posts are which, a hint: I'm a very serious man and most of my posting will be on grave matters that you Need to listen to me about.
If you have questions feel free to write in, I will deem if they are worthy of answering and respond accordingly.
I am now a husband and father and will graciously allow you to hear and see how my family is doing from time to time. I have a wonderful wife and a splendid son (www.babyporta.blogspot.com) and am very grateful for all I've been given.
I leave you now with a few photos and a warning, the awesomeness of the pictures below may overwhelm you to the point of shock. You will be seeing an incredible mustache, the perfect baby boy, the perfect wondrous wife, scroll down slowly.
8 comments:
[Pre-Comment Disclaimer]: Please, please forgive me for the manner in which I leave the first comment on your resurrected blog (a.k.a. The Platform By Which Humanity May Be Healed Of All It's Maladies) as it will contain potty language.
I just pooped my pants! I am beyond elation at this news. I have a sudden and strange warmth in my bosom. I am besides myself. I just pooped my pants a 2nd time, just now!
Thank you aPortaMan for gracing us again with your words. I eagerly await your first nuggets of truth and the potent balm of healing for weary souls.
Groove, I will Not forgive you as there was no need to apologize. Your honesty and loss of physical control over your bowels is very heart-warming to hear about.
I hope you have some clean pants, maybe bring an extra pair with you each day in preparation for reading my words.
theDan, An anonymous someone just asked me to ask you to post a video of your Fergie dance moves???
Big girls don't cry.
Anonymous someone, I don't believe any video of such events exists. While I do possess dance moves that are other-worldly it would be too arrogant and unfair to record them and show them off. Besides I tried it once when I was younger and less wise, the people video taping always dropped the camera out of amazement of what they were seeing.
There are a handful of authors that have an uncanny sense of the psychological make up of the human person - Freud, Dostoyevsky, Joyce, and Hemmingway. We can now add Aportaman to that list. In fact, he makes the others seem like mere schoolchildren, prancing around in their stupid little outfits and eating crayons. If Hemmingway were alive today, and he had the chance to read one of aportaman's descriptions of the real man, he would wimper in the shame of all his writings and mourn for his soul. For his frail veneer of masculinity would be revealed for the sham it was all along.
TheYod, I thank you for kind and accurate words. You are one of the gifted minds in this land and knowing you are out there, taking in the thoughts of my mind, is of great comfort.
Also, your post has inspired me to write my next entry on the issue of Manhood. It shall arrive soon.
TheDan,
Is there a metric conversion button available, so that I will be able to understand your genius here in Canada? I do not want any of your wisdom getting lost in translation.
Jeff, my wisdom needs no converting. It breaks through all communication barriers, an Egyptian from the time of the Pharoahs could see this site and understand the genius.
I rebuke you for bringing up such an irrelevant non-issue.
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