At the end of my last post I referenced a song known as "My Rifle, My Pony and Me" without ever thinking that someone might not know the song (which seemed so preposterous it didn't even register as possible).
The thought that there are ears out there that haven't been blessed to hear this song is truly tragic and I almost experience emotion at the thought of it...almost.
For those poor individuals who have never heard/read this song I give you the lyrics now, ponder them and then find a way to listen to the song (the Dean Martin version of course)...you will be a better person for it.
"The sun is sinking in the west
The cattle go down to the stream
The redwing settles in the nest
It's time for a cowboy to dream
Purple light in the canyons
That's where I long to be
With my three good companions
Just my rifle, pony and me
Gonna hang (gonna hang) my sombrero (my sombrero)
On the limb (on the limb) of a tree (of a tree)
Coming home (coming home) sweetheart darling (sweetheart darling)
Just my rifle, pony and me
Just my rifle, my pony and me
(Whippoorwill in the willow
Sings a sweet melody
Riding to Amarillo)
Just my rifle, pony and me
No more cows (no more cows) to be roping (to be roping)
No more strays will I see
Round the bend (round the bend) she'll be waiting (she'll be waiting)
For my rifle, pony and me
For my rifle, my pony and me"
Monday, November 26, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Man-Answers: Conditioner
In life there are many areas in which one may ask "Is what I am doing manly?" Some issues may involve seemingly minor daily activites while others will deal with deeper, character issues. It is my goal (which means it is already accomplished it's just a matter of time) to shed some light on a few of these questions and in the process give you the invaluable tools that I like to call ManPrinciples. These Principles will help you address any issue/circumstance and act accordingly in a Manly fashion. It is important to note however that often times more than one principle can be applied to a specific situation (as will you see in the following paragraphs), thus it is imperative that you read carefully and learn how and to what degree to apply said Principles.
Todays topic: Is it Manly to have a bottle of Conditioner and of Shampoo instead of combining the two and buying one all purpose bottle?
A blatant "No" seems like the obvious answer based upon one of the strongest ManPrinciples:
MP - Efficiency: "In any given situation the best and most Manly method of accomplishing a goal is that which requires the least amount of time and/or effort to SUCCESSFULLY accomplish that goal."
(Note the emphasis on "Successfully." Doing things quickly and haphazardly is not Manly, this is why a trip to the bathroom may take a man 30 + minutes and still be within the confines of the Efficient Principle. One must take the appropriate time and energy to ensure that the task at hand is properly accomplished while also not wasting time.)
After some further thought however, you can see how having a separate bottle for each stage of cleansing also falls under the Efficient Principle as it arguably leads to a more Successful hair washing experience. Plus, if you are married it is likely that your spouse will tend to be a 2 bottle hair cleanser and by not cluttering up the shower with multiple bottles you will line up with another ManPrinciple:
MP - Consolidation: "In most areas of life (esp. verbal communication, shopping, shaving) Less Is More."
We can even go a step further to defend the 2 bottle method as yet another ManPrinciple can come into play:
MP - Single Tasking - "A man should only do one specific thing at any given time as to fully lend his attention and deal appropriately with it."
You could say that by shampooing alone and conditioning alone you are adhering to this MP. As you can see this topic is more complicated than it originally appears.
The one bottle method does have another advantage as it lends to a faster washing and more time to relax in the shower. During which time you pretend you are in the depths of the forest during a rain shower while you set up camp beside a stream, make a fire and a cup of black coffee while contemplating how much of the bear to eat that you killed earlier in the day. You go through your supplies and say "Should we find a town tomorrow Duke or make do with what we can kill," Duke (your horse...obviously) softly nickers and you smirk "that's what I thought boy, we'll head out early and see if we can't catch up with this old boy's (stabbing a piece of bear meat) brother." After dinner you break into a little chorus of Dean Martin's "My Rifle, My Pony and Me" as you fade off into a fitful sleep of war nightmares and the man you used to be.
Final Verdict: It is okay and Manly to either use 2 bottles, 1 shampoo and 1 conditioner or 1 dual purpose bottle for your showering needs.
Todays topic: Is it Manly to have a bottle of Conditioner and of Shampoo instead of combining the two and buying one all purpose bottle?
A blatant "No" seems like the obvious answer based upon one of the strongest ManPrinciples:
MP - Efficiency: "In any given situation the best and most Manly method of accomplishing a goal is that which requires the least amount of time and/or effort to SUCCESSFULLY accomplish that goal."
(Note the emphasis on "Successfully." Doing things quickly and haphazardly is not Manly, this is why a trip to the bathroom may take a man 30 + minutes and still be within the confines of the Efficient Principle. One must take the appropriate time and energy to ensure that the task at hand is properly accomplished while also not wasting time.)
After some further thought however, you can see how having a separate bottle for each stage of cleansing also falls under the Efficient Principle as it arguably leads to a more Successful hair washing experience. Plus, if you are married it is likely that your spouse will tend to be a 2 bottle hair cleanser and by not cluttering up the shower with multiple bottles you will line up with another ManPrinciple:
MP - Consolidation: "In most areas of life (esp. verbal communication, shopping, shaving) Less Is More."
We can even go a step further to defend the 2 bottle method as yet another ManPrinciple can come into play:
MP - Single Tasking - "A man should only do one specific thing at any given time as to fully lend his attention and deal appropriately with it."
You could say that by shampooing alone and conditioning alone you are adhering to this MP. As you can see this topic is more complicated than it originally appears.
The one bottle method does have another advantage as it lends to a faster washing and more time to relax in the shower. During which time you pretend you are in the depths of the forest during a rain shower while you set up camp beside a stream, make a fire and a cup of black coffee while contemplating how much of the bear to eat that you killed earlier in the day. You go through your supplies and say "Should we find a town tomorrow Duke or make do with what we can kill," Duke (your horse...obviously) softly nickers and you smirk "that's what I thought boy, we'll head out early and see if we can't catch up with this old boy's (stabbing a piece of bear meat) brother." After dinner you break into a little chorus of Dean Martin's "My Rifle, My Pony and Me" as you fade off into a fitful sleep of war nightmares and the man you used to be.
Final Verdict: It is okay and Manly to either use 2 bottles, 1 shampoo and 1 conditioner or 1 dual purpose bottle for your showering needs.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Meat?
I'm sure many of you are wondering whether or not I was able to provide some winter meat for my child and wife while hunting last weekend. The answer is yes, I killed a beast of the forest. It was not a large beast but it will make for good eating.
The killing itself was not an experience for the weak. I patiently waited for the creature of misfortune to step into an ideal position for me to shoot, I shot and hit the spot I was aiming for...naturally, and the deer dropped immediately. The reason I say it was a killing not for the weak is because as I approached the deer it was sitting in a pose not unlike one you might see in a magazine. Its ears were perked and it's big brown eyes were staring at me as if to say "you shot me and I can't move and I'm terrified but yet feel peaceful as I lay here slowly dying, please shoot me again so I may die faster but before you do know that I am grateful to you for allowing me to sustain your family this winter and for ending my life quickly so that I may forgo a winter of starvation and/or being painfully eaten by wolves."
With a nod and a wink I acknowledged the beasts plea, my rifle spoke swiftly and mercifully, there were a few last gasps of warm breath and then the creature lay still waiting to fulfill its destiny as my dinner.
I graciously gutted the deer and dragged it from the woods, soon its meat will don my dining table, oh the wonderful cycle of nature...such a beautiful thing.
The killing itself was not an experience for the weak. I patiently waited for the creature of misfortune to step into an ideal position for me to shoot, I shot and hit the spot I was aiming for...naturally, and the deer dropped immediately. The reason I say it was a killing not for the weak is because as I approached the deer it was sitting in a pose not unlike one you might see in a magazine. Its ears were perked and it's big brown eyes were staring at me as if to say "you shot me and I can't move and I'm terrified but yet feel peaceful as I lay here slowly dying, please shoot me again so I may die faster but before you do know that I am grateful to you for allowing me to sustain your family this winter and for ending my life quickly so that I may forgo a winter of starvation and/or being painfully eaten by wolves."
With a nod and a wink I acknowledged the beasts plea, my rifle spoke swiftly and mercifully, there were a few last gasps of warm breath and then the creature lay still waiting to fulfill its destiny as my dinner.
I graciously gutted the deer and dragged it from the woods, soon its meat will don my dining table, oh the wonderful cycle of nature...such a beautiful thing.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Quote for the Week
Jerk Dad (JD): "You increased your lands......."
Guilty Son (GS): "Lands, titles..nothing, I have nothing! Men fight for me because if they do not I starve their wives and their children and throw them off my land. Those men...that bled the ground red at Falkirk, they fought for William Wallace and he fights for something that I've never had AND I TOOK THAT FROM HIM WHEN I BETRAYED HIM AND I SAW IT ON HIS FACE ON THE BATTLE FIELD AND IT'S TEARING ME APART!
(JD): All men lose heart, all men betray..
(GS): I DON'T WANNA LOSE HEART, I want to believe as he does.....I will never be on the wrong side again."
Wow, I have chills and if you don't and more importantly don't know where those line are from there is something wrong with you.
ps. Yes, those lines and many others are all from memory.
Guilty Son (GS): "Lands, titles..nothing, I have nothing! Men fight for me because if they do not I starve their wives and their children and throw them off my land. Those men...that bled the ground red at Falkirk, they fought for William Wallace and he fights for something that I've never had AND I TOOK THAT FROM HIM WHEN I BETRAYED HIM AND I SAW IT ON HIS FACE ON THE BATTLE FIELD AND IT'S TEARING ME APART!
(JD): All men lose heart, all men betray..
(GS): I DON'T WANNA LOSE HEART, I want to believe as he does.....I will never be on the wrong side again."
Wow, I have chills and if you don't and more importantly don't know where those line are from there is something wrong with you.
ps. Yes, those lines and many others are all from memory.
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