Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Beware the FALL BEAST

I must first apologize for my lack of frequent posting as of late, it is not fair for me to leave you wandering in the dark for so long.

I come back to you now with an urgent warning. As the seasons change and we head deeper into fall you must be aware of a rare Beast who only rears his ugly head during this time of year. The creature is indeed here all year round but can only be seen when the leaves change, at which time he occasionally comes out of hiding to attack the unsuspecting. If you hear strange rustling of leaves and gentle growls run, run and for the love of all that's good and right Don't Look Back! If you see him, it's probably too late, you'll be frozen with shock at his grizzly grotesqueness and you're well being will be in his hands. If you can somehow recover from the sight of his awesome beastliness you may have time to try to play dead and hope he leaves you alone. Avoidance, however, is the only sure way to get through this fall without being scarred by the beast. Walk quickly from your cars to your homes and try to stay away from large leaf piles.

I've included a picture below, taken several years ago, the last time the beast was seen by a living person. Sadly that person has still not recovered, beware of letting children see the following and don't look for too long, even in photos the eyes of the FALL BEAST are piercing:


Wednesday, July 2, 2008

The Woods, Part I of LVII (aka. 57)

Ahh the Woods, being "up North" away from the city is a most excellent experience. There are so many good things about being amongst the trees it can be hard to know where to start the appreciating. Luckily for you, I am here to help and to give written expression for your feelings. In this ongoing series of posts I will go through just 57 (to keep it reasonable) of the core "Joys of the Woods" so that you can appreciate your outdoor experiences more specifically. As you read this series (each part will be short and sweet so you can take it all in) you will be able to put into words your feelings and you'll know Why you like the woods so much, and therefore be able to enjoy them even more. I know I know, you are welcome.

Side Note: If you do not enjoy the woods and/or nature at all you are lying to yourself and are probably unhappy in general for neglecting the God-created natural earth.

On to Part I, which I shall call "Potty in the Woods."

True Story: I'm walking through the woods, just my rifle, my whit and the trees when I feel a familiar urge to release bodily waste. For a brief instant my city damaged mind begins to think of where the nearest facility is, but then in a beautiful moment I realize I am exactly where I need to be to take a pee...the woods. In a majestic picture of the cycle of life I relieve myself giving back to nature as it has given to me. The only thing that could make the moment any better would be if it was raining and I titled my back and drank the replenishing water thus instantly demonstrating the rain cycle.

Being in the woods gives the freedom as well as the necessary cover to go to the bathroom in the most appropriate, tranquil setting. You may wonder why it feels so right going to bathroom in the woods and the answer, as my story told, is that you are directly fulfilling the cycle of life that was put in place when God created this amazing earth. When we do what we were created to do our souls are satisfied, granted going to the bathroom in the woods is a small thing compared to other things we have been created for, but nonetheless it is a part of our original creation to go Potty in the Woods.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Book Ideas

One of the perks, if you want to call it that, of substitute teaching is a movie or study hall day. I find that I'm able to get quite a bit of reading done and there are a few books that I've thoroughly enjoyed recently and I thought I'd share them with you.

Side note: You'll notice that none of them are fictional, in my old age I've found that I have no drive to read about something that didn't really happen. I know there are very well-written books that are fiction, but for me I can't justify taking the time to read a fake story when I could be reading something true and/or learning something I didn't know. I'm all about what I like to call "reality reading."

On to my suggestions and why you should read them:

"Heaven" by Randy Alcorn.

This is a quite lengthy book (I still have a few chapters to finish) but very worth the time required to read it. The author presents a view of Heaven that is totally scriptural and well researched. As one who "grew up" in the church I've found it fascinating. Heaven, at least in my church, wasn't ever talked about in detail and described based on the scriptural glimpses the Bible gives. While the author does make some speculations I don't totally see they are all in accordance with scripture or at least not going against scripture. It's been the most thought provoking book I've read in a long time. For me having a more educated understanding of Heaven or the "end goal" makes the journey here on earth that much easier and clearer. I think a proper view of the goal (and the Bible does give us a decent view, it's not like God left us to guess what our eternity will be like) can significantly impact how one lives their day to day life. The Bible tells us to "keeps our eyes on the things above," if we really do that and know what awaits us in Heaven temptations will become easier to resist and decisions will be easier to make in light of all that God has prepared and will prepare for us. The truths in this book have given me a new respect and appreciation for the speck of time that is our life on this earth compared to an eternity with Jesus, on a New Earth untouched by sin, living in a resurrected body forever in God's presence. It's truly amazing.

ps. For those of you who love John Piper, he's quoted often.


"Walk on Water: Inside an Elite Pediatric Surgical Unit" by Michael Ruhlman.

The author of this book spent a year or so following one of the best pediatric surgeons in the world. It's an intense, detailed look into the world of pediatric heart surgery. Congenital heart defects are the most common defects in the world and as recently as the 1970's mortality rates were incredibly high (%30+). The book does a good job of giving a concise history of this specialized field while at the same time sharing what everyday life is like for these Dr's and patients and patient's families. Obviously I was interested in this book because my son has a heart defect called Tetralogy of Fallot and also because his surgeon (who will be doing his full repair in two weeks) happened to be doing a one year fellowship in the exact unit the author is writing about. I suggest the book for anyone for a few reasons, it's really rare to get such an inside look at one of the if not the most intense profession, it's totally engrossing and therefore a quick read, and finally because the information is not only intriguing but tangibly valuable. One of the themes of the book is parents who get thrown into this world and they just don't know their options. A lot of what the Dr. in this book does is correct other hospitals mistakes, parents need to know what questions to ask and that they do indeed have options.

A quote in the book from my sons surgeon Dr. Moga:

"You can't hide when you're a peds heart surgeon, you know who you are and where you stand. Because the stakes are so high, because there's so much at risk, there's no room for dishonesty...It's clear. It's beautiful. Elegant. Brutal. There are not many jobs when you're forced to know exactly who you are. You can't lie to yourself here, because if you lie to yourself, it becomes very obvious. Somebody dies."


"Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer.

This book is now a movie and as with most books turned into movies I'd suggest reading it first and then seeing it. It's an interesting story about a kid who's obviously mixed up and confused and takes a unique road to figuring "it" out. The main character just takes off after college one year and begins tramping around the Western U.S. and eventually ends up in Alaska. Again, this a pretty quick read and the story is told very well by the author. It has a Shakesperean quality to it and I enjoyed the ruggedness of it.

That's all for now, I have a few more I'd like to mention but I want to go read and/or lie down a bit before my son gets up.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Simple Pleasures

I've written before about simple pleasures and the important role they play in everyday life. If you're in the right mindset and have good perspective you'll notice little things that make you smile and make life that much better. Here are a few simple pleasures that currently make my life more enjoyable, feel free to add your own:

- Kissing my wife, there's just something so good and right about a nice gentle smooch.

- Cold drinks

- Basketball games that come down to the last shot

- The hum of a fan

- Naps

- Playing Golden Tee with friends

- Arm hair rubs

- Dancing like an idiot

- Sitting/lying close to my wife

- My son's laughter

- A clean house

- Making my wife feel my flexed arm after a workout (I'm on the road back to my college days of strength)

- Sitting on the couch after the boy has gone to bed

- Doing and saying stupid things with friends

- Reading in quiet

- Singing a good worship song

- Listening to my son grunt out a poop, it's quite funny

- Anticipating the start of another skydiving season

- Thinking of my son after he's totally "fixed"

- Wondering about Heaven (I'm reading "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn, tis fascinating)

- Did I mention making out with my wife!

- Walking slowly, why rush all the time

- Thinking of the Yod moving back to MN

- Holding my wife's hand, so simple yet so fun

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Dancing

You should all be preparing to watch basketball all day today. If you are an honorable man you took the day off in advance, if you are not you called in a lie and now lay in shame waiting for the games to begin to numb your guilt.

I sit at home with my boy, giving him the gift of March Madness at a young age.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

A Few Movie Quotes to Brighten Your Day

Woman who just receive help from Rambo: "I don't know what to say."
Rambo: "Then don't say anything."


Kevin Costner to his fiance after she delays in returning back to town: "How's this
gonna work if you don't do what I say?"

Insane criminal: "It's the way of the new world, I am a hero man."
Cobretti (Sly Stallone) right before killing insane criminal: "Nah, you're a disease... and I'm the cure."

Braveheart: "Of course, raising crops will be hard, but that'll all change when my sons arrive."
Surprised girl: "So you've got children then?"
Bheart: "Well not yet, I was hoping you could help me with that."
Even more surpised girl: "Is that your idea of a proposal?"
Bheart: "Aye, I love you, I've always loved you, I want to marry you."
Smooooooooch.

Paulie: "Friends owe!"
Rocky: "Friends don't owe, they do because they wanna do."

Princess Leah: "I love you."
Han Solo (going into carbanite): "I know."

Friday, March 7, 2008

College Quotes

When I think back on some of the more amusing memories I have of college there are quotes that usually go along with them. Granted these might not make sense to you unless you were there, but that's okay this is a reminiscing post. Here are some of my favorite quotes that were uttered by myself and my unique co-collegians. Feel free to add any of your own.

"Ronny he was being serious DON'T BE AN IDIOT!"

"Hey, we need to egg the security van."

"I'm dead, I AM SO DEAD!"

"Pippen for threee..." (someone gets bitten) "YEEES!"

"Yeah kids SMOKE IT UP!"

"Dan I'm going to bed, tuck me in."

"GRUS GRUS, WHAT ARE YOUR DOING??? GRUS!!"

"Yeah, they've been in there awhile....they're 'Praying.'"

"Well you're face would look better in a bag."

"Let's moon freshman hill." (said every time entering or leaving the campus)

"IT'S BED TIME!"

"Let's go to the LoveDen."

"Let's go to Best Buy and play Madden."

"*&%^%$$#@ THERE'S F&*^%$# SAND ON THE SIDEWALK!"

"I'm gonna Freak you."

"I'd b*tchslap the ho." (the funniest quote of freshman year, thank you Protz!)

"Let's egg the Tool."

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" (reaction from random freshman girl as we drove by with our butts out the window)

"I dare you to run down the hallway naked."

"OPENVIEW FIIISHH!"

"Is he in the LoveCave with her?"

"STOP WALKING!"