It's Dusty in Here

Is it okay for men to cry? This question has been discussed many times throughout history and I shall finally put the issue to rest.
First we must make a very important distinction between crying and sobbing. I define crying for men as "teary eyes and/or an obvious display of uncomfortable emotion, ie. looking away, gritting of teeth." A single tear, and only a single tear is allowable in some instances. Sobbing is "an extensive, charasmatic display of extreme emotion in which tears flow down the cheeks, whimpering is heard perhaps wailing, all while the shoulders bob up and down with the pain of the afflicted."

It is indeed okay for men to experience both of these forms of what I call "occular discharge," however the events during which said emotions may acceptably be displayed are very specific.

Sobbing may be publicly displayed during times of extreme personal loss. The best example being Maximus in "Gladiator" when he finds his wife and child. An example of bad, inexcusable sobbing that greatly detracted from Manhood would be either Johnny Fontaine in "Godfather Pt 1" when the Godfather had to slap him for crying about his career or Adam Morrison when he wept like a little girl after losing a basketball game.

Note: If you can ever follow up a sobbing session by becoming an unbeatable gladiator and overthrowing an evil Emperor it is preferred.

For crying there is a little more freedom, but not too much. It is acceptable in the following instances: funerals (single tear allowed, assuming that any sobbing session already occured if not sobbing is allowed/recommended), your dog of more than 4 years dies (single tear acceptable if more than 12 years and you're there to say goodbye while they're put to sleep), after visiting a friend/family member who is in physical peril/pain (single tear allowed), listening to William Wallace scream "freeeeeeddooomm" at the end of "Braveheart," after retiring from a sport as long as you played at least 10 years (single tear allowed if done in private), watching your offspring excel in some area of life and telling them your proud of them. That's pretty much it.
There are many other situations in which strong emotions are acceptable but for men the best way to express those emotions is by hitting something instead of crying.

Important Note: Tears caused not by emotion do not count as crying, ie. accidentally snorting jalapeno seeds, getting punched in the nose.

Very Important Note: Physical pain is Never an excuse for crying! Swearing, grunting, yelling and pounding the ground are all acceptable but tears are not an option.