Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Rules for Replying

Recently I had to delete a comment on this site because of the careless and utterly ridiculous manner in which it was written. To avoid such wastes of cyberspace in the future I will give you a few guidelines/rules for commenting on this site. Adhere to them closely, not doing so will waste my readers and my time but more importantly hinder your growth as an intelligent human being.

Rules for Replying:

Don't ever give theDan advice, it's like telling Grizzly Adams how to grow a beard, absolutely insane and unnecessary.

NEVER question or even comment on theManliness of theDan unless it's to say how amazing it is.

Never ridicule another commenter, you may question and gently criticize but it my job alone to ridicule.

Don't make depressing posts, yes most of you have a long way to go as human beings but there is Always hope, just keep reading and learning. You can become a relatively intelligent person.

Don't make assumptions.

Read your comment aloud 5 times before posting it so you can make as much sense as your mind can possible make.

Don't cuss or insult Jeremiah Johnson, it's classless (if you don't know who Jeremiah Johnson is, find out).

Don't write any dissenting opinions, rather reread what I wrote in a quiet room with a glass of water. If you still don't agree or see my wisdom begin to contemplate what is wrong with you.

Don't drink and post.

Never post while crying. I do know that my words will often bring tears of guilt, inadequacy and general malaise for where you're at in life, but you must not comment in such a mood. Wait until you are not so overcome with emotion and in a more stable state of mind.

Following these simple rules will guarentee a valuable interaction between myself and all of you. I am here for your betterment.

5 comments:

jdmill said...

WOW! Dictatorship at APortaMan. These rules are firm, but fair. I thank you for sharing them, I will take them under advisement, and probably never respond again.

Jeff said...

Dan, I'm would never dare to question your manliness. However, I would question how a man who loves musicals like Moulon Rouge, or has a taste in music that centers around Delilah and the Love Light, can be considered manly?

il Dan said...

Jeremy, your words are needed here please do not hesitate to reply. I can't foresee there ever being a need to delete anything you say.

Jeff, you ask a ridiculous question and I'd slap you if you I could. You must keep reading my wisdom so you can learn about Manhood more and what it all entails.
A quick tip for you Jeff: Love is Manly.

Jeff said...

Dan, as a husband and father, I'm interested in your opinion on the recalls of all these infant cold medications.

I can not believe they're recalling all of these products because of the deaths of 100 babies in the last 40 years. I'm not trying to make light of the death of children, because that's always a tragic thing, but 40 deaths out of literally millions upon millions of children is such a miniscule number. To me it's like banning bikes because two kids a year die from them. Like anything, too much of it is harmful, but if taken in proper dosages, it's not going to hurt your child. Maybe there's just way too much commonsense involved here, or maybe this is why it's a good thing I'm not a parent.

Am I an insensitive jerk or are these recalls ridiculous?

il Dan said...

Jeff, you are not insensitive. I don't understand the whole thing either, over a 40 yr period you can pretty much find anything that causes death. Like you said, should we recall bikes or swimming pools?